And in the aftermath, she was transformed. : Directed by Stephen Finnigan. When we first see Sodderland in the riveting new Netflix documentary My Beautiful Broken Brain (premiering Friday after a run at SXSW), shes recording herself on her iPhone in the hospital shortly after regaining consciousness. But it also helped me to recover the narrative aspect of my mind and brain -the ability to tell stories, in a visual way. Lotje Sodderlands documentary about her recovery, made with director Sophie Robinson, is now showing at festivals; go to mybeautifulbrokenbrain.com for more information. Currently working with Film4, Lotje is in development on her first feature. Even listening to the radio is quite overwhelming. Lotje Sodderland is on Facebook. Making a cup of tea was an unfathomable assault course, requiring cognitive skills she couldn't comprehend. Its such a testament to the power of these phones.LS: Definitely. She is struggling more with finding words again. At the age of 34 Lotje Sodderland suffered a stroke that almost killed her but left her with a fascination with the science that saved her life. My therapist took me to the bank to get new pin codes and cards, so that I would be able to get my own groceries. David Festenstein, who has written a blog about his recovery from a stroke, has suggested that the video and audio recording capabilities on our smartphones can play a vital role in stroke recovery. I kept forgetting I was a patient, too, until I saw my name tag and my bed. My family and friends knew that I was going to be different after the stroke and they accepted me. 'One of the first things I remember is waking up on a hospital trolley, in an elevator. She made it her mission afterwards to understand. My mum lent me a fiver. Filling in a thick form, the doctor asked me questions, occasionally glancing up to gauge my responses. Shed had a brain hemorrhage, the result she would eventually find out, of a vascular abnormality that developed before birth. See also Other Works | Publicity Listings | Official Sites View agent, publicist, legal and company contact details on IMDbPro Lotje Sodderland Her vision is also troubling her she sees intense colors. Nov 2011 - Sep 202210 years 11 months. In celebration of Aphasia Awareness Month this June, we caught up with the Lotje after the free screening of her documentary and had an intimate conversation with her to find out about her post-recovery struggles and how she overcame them. With a black hood pulled up to hide her surgery scar, she haltingly says, Okay, Im alive, then smiles and gives the camera a thumbs-up. But also I used it just on a practical level, to remember things, like meetings with doctors, and to communicate with friends, because I couldnt read or write. Soon after Iwas born, my parents broke up, and my mother, my older brother, Jan, and I moved three times before I was 16, when we ended up in London. At the same time, Ive learned to look at the world in a really different way. He knows putting his name on it would help us in terms of getting the film recognized. Sodderland saw parallels between the almost hallucinatory things she was experiencing and David Lynch films. Lotje Sodderland is known for My Beautiful Broken Brain (2014), Limbo (2021) and Can You Rebuild My Brain? I remember the cognitive psychologist drawing a diagram to indicate where on the scale my old intellect had been, and where it was now. And it still is. Ive worked on a new character, becoming more patient, more accepting, kinder to myself and to the people around me. I was emerging after two days inan induced coma, after having an intracerebral brain haemorrhage - an unprovoked bleeding of the brain - at the age of 34. As I got more confident, I filled pages with words written in thick capital letters words that made sense to me, but that no one else could interpret. Her friends describe her as someone impassioned, who was busy multitasking, writing films, writing in general, always readingthick books, someone very articulate. I was aware of an existence, a me within my body. Every cast member you would expect will be back to collect their paychecks, which might require a crane, The Finding Nemo sequel will focus on Ellen DeGeneres' forgetful blue tang fish. We have noticed that there is an issue with your subscription billing details. Though the film showed mostly positive scenes, there were many difficult moments that were not captured, such as my mental health struggles which are an invisible part of recovery. First I would need to get some money. I enjoyed the daily trip, and being surrounded by neuroscientists; Iliked the sense of being an active participant, rather than a passive patient. Watch trailers & learn more. Since its inception, Aphasia SG has expanded its free community activities to include aphasia choir, virtual programmes and public outreach events such as movie screenings. I see my stroke as a kind of rebirth; unexpected and painful, but also more vivid, filled with purpose, meaning and potential. Everyone is so pissed about this remake of the Robin Williams cult hit that it will be a miracle if it escapes a critical drubbing, Martin Scorsese's next film doesn't have a mafioso or corrupt banker in sight. When he agreed to put his name to it, he insisted that Lotje and I share the executive producer credit with him. Starring Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett and Natalie Portman, it sees a man return home from New York and get sucked into the hollow hedonism of LA, fighting to extricate himself from it, Based on journalist Kim Barkers 2011 memoir The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan, this dark comedy sees Tina Fey play a foreign correspondent reporting in the Middle East during Operation Enduring Freedom, where she develops a weird relationship with a fellow journalist played by Martin Freeman, The wind seems to have gone out of the sails of the Man of Steel series in spite of the addition of a new Batman, and there's a more palpable anticipation for Suicide Squad (which arrives later in the year), Coming off the back of multi-Oscar winner Boyhood, this Richard Linklater film looks a lot like Dazed and Confused if it was set in the 80s, albeit pitched more towards comedy, Disney is trampling on its own hallowed ground with this live action remake. Lotje reveals her tips on adjusting to acquired communication disorder aphasia and finding a new way of life in her present reality. Photo: Eric Charbonneau / Courtesy of Netflix. A more deep seated confrontation with my mortality manifested itself through panic attacks, but theydidnt really kick in until after I had aseizure -months after my initialstroke. I was filled with faith that this was going to work, and was prepared to overlook the gruelling downsides, including the discomfort of the daily currents andthe punishing, repetitive boredom. Knowing that was not the answer, Mr Tan insisted for more tests and scans which subsequently revealed a dilated pupil and a blood clot in her brain, indicating signs of a stroke. CRTEX - BRAIN, CONSCIOUSNESS AND THE REALITY OF THE EGO. I never had any limits: travelling widelyand generally being very active. *Names changed as requested by the couple. And then he came on board as our executive producer, which was obviously brilliant. Karen with her husband, Andrew Adams. Sophie, when Lotje got in touch, what did you think?SOPHIE ROBINSON: I was in the middle of an edit of another film. I spent three months as an inpatient at a rehabilitation centre, receiving physical, psychological and linguistic therapy. Lotje Sodderland explores beauty and positivity after a traumatic health scare At age 34, film director Lotje Sodderland was struck by an intracerebral haemorrhagic stroke after a night out with her friends. Self Employed. It seemed entirely impossible that I would be able to love someone else and even more improbable that someone would love the damaged new me. Last year, four years after the stroke, I got married to a wonderful man. She did the tea and toast test on me, and this time Ipassed. Shes quite a memorable person for lots of different reasons, including being a science-based filmmaker whos a woman doing really well. Expect major face-palming from Trekkies in July. On one hand, it's landed a cast of incredibly funny actresses, but on the other, another reboot? Used to solving problems and travelling the world, she suddenly couldnt understand how to get out of her flat to ask for help. I took meditation and mindfulness classes at a Buddhist centre near my home. My Beautiful Broken Brainis an intensely personal story of a 34 year old woman, Lotje Sodderland, who documented through film her 1-year journey of recovery from hemorrhagic stroke, which resulted in Aphasia. Videos She makes it to a local hotel but she cant speak and so she cant explain whats wrong. She helped me figure out the navigation system on my iPhone, which meant Iwould be able to walk around without getting lost. My date of birth? One morning, I put the Biro to an empty sheet of paper, and with asudden momentum, my hand began to write the words that Lucy, who is Australian, had dictated: Throw the bloody boomerang back, mate. A phrase! The research study investigates whether this non-invasive brain stimulation can speed up language recovery after stroke. PEOPLE 2008.3.10 Text: Lotje Sodderland Vlieger & Vandam comprise Carolien and Hein (respectively), a Dutch husband-and-wife team who's happy union was the result of a friend's casual match-making exploits. The hotel staff finds her eventually and she is rushed to the hospital where her family finds her the next day. In the beginning, when I wanted to do a film, my family thought it was really weird, but they still supported me. Sodderlands stroke left her with significant cognitive problems: impaired speech and memory; trouble with sequencing events; distorted, sometimes psychedelic vision; and an inability to read or write that persists to this day. Its like, Okay, Im never going to be the same as I was before, but then nobody is. I looked at my iPhone, but had no idea how it worked. And then we stayed in touch. "It wasn't a logical reality, it was another dimension. She woke up in her east London flat with a blinding headache and in a state of frightening confusion. Q: What kind of negative feelings arose during your recovery, and how did you manage or overcome them? There's also thought to be a very meta all-male version in the works from the creators of Jump Street, set in the same universe as Men In Black no less, If you thought Abrams' Star Trek films were bad, feast your eyes on the trailer for the next one from the director of the Fast & Furious franchise. To get money, I would need to use a machine that spewed out notes. Despite my insistence that I couldnt do it, my friend Lucy was convinced she would be able to get me to write again. I looked around and saw patients in various states of disablement: some were comatose, some were talking to themselves; one, a GuillainBarr syndrome survivor, lay in bed reading. It was a big moment of acceptance. After a lack of response from his wifes friends, Mr Tan reached out to his buddies to drop by their place for a visit or send encouraging texts from time to time. Lotje Sodderland. Another change is that Ican access the creative part of my brain more easily. I didnt need much sleep, and really enjoyed overdoing it at work and play. Founded in 2018 by volunteer speech therapists, Aphasia SG aims to create a community where patients with aphasia can bond and speak comfortably at their flagship programme, Chit Chat Cafe. Some other friends, however, found it uncomfortable to hang out with an ill person or be around death. My wife had not been feeling well and had slept for over 24 hours. When did that happen?SR: Netflix had come on board, and suddenly we were in a very real situation, where the film was actually going to go out globally to 190 different countries. So it was sad. Six months after the stroke was a difficult time for me. films; about; bla-bla; The Infinit Magic of Having Less. Hopefully the new TV show will offer something a bit less action-orientated and a bit more cerebral, The Bourne series completely went off the boil with Jeremy Renner as its lead, but now both Matt Damon and original director Paul Greengrass are back to steady the ship. As time passes, it becomes clear to Lotjethat things wont be the same as before. Watch Vogue.coms most popular videos now: By signing up you agree to our User Agreement and Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement. When Mrs Tan regained consciousness, Mr Tan also had to manage his wifes agitation towards her weakened condition and new disability called aphasia. I was conscious, but there was nothing there: no thought, no logic, no reason. I had to. She drew her brother a picture of a TV and a horizon because she remembered that Robinson had made a documentary for the BBC series and after "a few hours" he figured it out. Butbeforethe end of the therapy, Lotje experiences generalized seizure and is taken to the hospital. "But I knew that I'd need some help.". At the same time, having tamed my hyper-sensitive receptors through daily meditation, wouldnt it be just like the old me to risk it all in the name of adventure? But he did it in a very collaborative way. A trailer for My Beautiful Broken Brain, Lotjes documentary about her recovery, made with director Sophie Robinson. Pretending she was an actor, playing a character in a film, also helped give her distance from the more distressing things she went through in hospital. I had faltered, and the words were gone Then Iblacked out, consumed by a four-hour convulsive seizure. It may sound simple, but it made a huge difference to me. But underneath the hoodie is a blood-caked scar from brain surgery. I enjoy our talks so much more these days. So it was worth it? My discharge date arrived in early April, but though Iwas out of hospital, my mind was stuck on my limitations. He experiences anoxia resulting in brain damage. But when I looked back, the words had slid off the page. Had I disappeared? Meanwhile, a multitude of tests were undertaken to ascertain the extent of the damage. An excruciating pain in my head woke me up in the early hours. Start your Independent Premium subscription today. We sent that link through his agent, and other means of contact. She has a new partner, a new job as a film-maker and cinematographer and is excited for the future. JOIN NOW Executive producer David Lynch played a pivotal role in Lotje Sodderland's recovery, as explained in this documentary. Following severe brain injuries, the NHS refers patients to inpatient neurological rehabilitation units for psychological, linguistic and physical treatment. It didnt, she says, After her stroke Lotje Sodderland tried electronic pulses to fire up parts of the brain responsible for reading. As Mrs Tan became closer with some of the fellow participants, the couple even started a WhatsApp group for them to continue chatting outside of Chit Chat Cafe. The valuable support provided by her family and friends during this journey of recovery was featured prominently in this documentary. I put it on Vimeo with a password. He said, Do you remember me? I started to have dark, repetitive thoughts like I was not getting better, not able to get a job or be independent.The classes were also useful for calming the mind as after a brain injury, it is so hard to switch off the negative thoughts to rest or sleep. Lotje, theres a turning point in the film, when you decide to stop seeing yourself as limited and instead start focusing on the possibilities. I was looking at my clothes and I knew that I needed them, but I didnt quite know how they worked.. We'll find out in September with Antoine Fuqua's remake of 1960's The Magnificent Seven. Meeting with fellow patients has helped in rebuilding Mrs Tans confidence. Midway through filming, Robinson contacted Lynch's agent to try and show him one of these videos and much to their surprise he sent them an email back. I had no idea how to meditate and was too fragmented to listen to the teacher, but the sweet silence of the shrine room had me instantly hooked. She lost two years of her memory, forgetting her own daughter and even asking whether she herself was Chinese. International Documentary Film Festival Amsterdam, "SXSW Film Review: My Beautiful Broken Brain", "My Beautiful Broken Brain: The amazing collaboration of David Lynch and a woman who 'video-selfied' her stroke", "My Beautiful Broken Brain review - moving study of life after stroke", "At SXSW, a Woman Who Had a Stroke Turns Director", "Netflix Picks Up 'My Beautiful Broken Brain' Documentary from David Lynch", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=My_Beautiful_Broken_Brain&oldid=1098836516, Short description is different from Wikidata, Pages containing links to subscription-only content, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 17 July 2022, at 18:34. I didnt know it yet, but I was experiencing anunprovoked bleed to my brain a stroke. According to her, making a film about her struggles was the first linear thought she had after the stroke. 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